I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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