Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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