3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
