i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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