East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Houston, we have a squirter
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
