perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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