I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
