That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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