thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
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Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
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Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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