I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
