Apparently you make a good broom.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
