You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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