I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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