scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
