i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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