You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
