you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize