and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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