If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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