ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
