If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
