sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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