I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
how does that bad decision feel?
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