hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
