I'm eating all of the evidence.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
