woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize