im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
