Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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