My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
