her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
