Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
