We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
