You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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