just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize