I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
