I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
