This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
