she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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