well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
okay pat passed out under dana's car
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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