I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
