What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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