Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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