dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
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so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize