how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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