All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
