Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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