turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
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Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
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Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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