no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
