worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
