i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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