why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
