the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
