what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
