honey bunches of taint.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
