Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
