I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
