I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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