Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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