I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
